mynamesearn

I swear, I never planned on writing this. It just… happened. Some random night, and I ended up sitting in front of my phone typing away like a whole-ass poet or something. And for a second, I thought, nah, I’ll just keep this to myself but then I thought, maybe it’s worth sharing. Because sometimes, you don’t need to be perfect to have something real to say. You just need to be honest.

So, here’s the deal. Lately, I’ve been thinking about something. Someone, actually. And I know, I know, I’m always talking about being independent and doing my own thing, but there’s this thing that’s been sitting on my chest for a while now. A good kind of thing. The kind that makes you question everything you thought you knew about yourself and love. It’s weird, right? But honestly, I think it’s about time I wrote this down.

I wasn’t looking for someone to “complete” me. I never needed that. But somehow, he came along and showed me what it’s like to just be. No games, no pretending. Just me. And him. And somewhere in that space, I’ve started feeling things I didn’t think I was capable of. It’s like he’s seeing parts of me I forgot existed or maybe I never knew they were there. It’s a little wild. It’s a lot of wild. But it feels right.

And that’s when the poem came. It just poured out of me, because I couldn’t help it. The words showed up, and I just let them flow. It felt like the easiest thing in the world to say, even though it’s hard to put into words. But hey, it is what it is. 

You don’t know how grateful I am
how you see something in me
I’ve struggled to find myself.
Why do you even think I’m beautiful?
It feels so real,
it almost doesn’t,
like I’ve stepped into a dream
I never dared to imagine.
Do I deserve you?
That’s just my doubt,
trying to steal what we’ve built.
I know in my soul, we’re meant to be.

I mean, do I really deserve this? That’s the question, isn’t it? Sometimes I wonder, am I good enough for him? It’s not like he’s done anything wrong. It’s just me, carrying the weight of past relationships that left me doubting myself.

But then, I stop and think: isn’t this what it’s supposed to feel like? Not perfect. Not over-the-top. Just… real. Simple but meaningful. And even when I’m staring at all the good in front of me, there’s still that little voice in my head asking, “Are you sure?”

And there he is, just being himself. Just showing up, being exactly who he is, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. It’s funny how something so simple can feel so much like magic.

Then doubt creeps in again, like it always does. Suddenly, I’m wondering if I’m too much. Too loud, too messy, too… everything. But I catch myself and think, This is me. And somehow, that’s enough. He’s still here, and that? That means everything.

I wonder sometimes..
Am I too much?
Too messy, too loud,
or maybe too plain?
But I don’t try to be more
than who I am,
and somehow, that’s enough for you.
You’re still here.
And that means everything.

Here’s the thing: I’ve always been a little… well, chaotic. But what I’ve learned is that the right people don’t make you shrink down to fit their idea of “perfect.” They let you be messy. They let you be loud. And then they love you anyway. It’s honestly the most freeing feeling ever. And I’m finally realizing that I don’t need to change to make space for love. It’s already here. It’s already real.

I’m not trying to be cute or perfect. I’m just trying to be me. And if that’s enough for him? Then maybe it’s enough for me, too.

You’re my safe place,
the one who makes the world feel right.
I want you to have it all
every good thing this life can bring.
We hold each other close,
like we were made to protect each other
You’ve turned me into this girl
who blushes at the thought of you,
and honestly?
I think I love her too.
You’ve flipped my world upside down,
made me question what’s real.
Are you even real?

Sometimes, it feels like I’m living in a dream. Like none of this should be real. But then I remember: he makes it real. Every laugh, every moment, every touch. And for the first time, I don’t need to question whether it’s true. It’s here. It’s now. And I’m here for it. All of it.

Maybe we’re all just waiting for that one person who makes us feel safe enough to stop pretending, to stop doubting, and just exist. No walls. No filters. Just the raw, real, beautiful mess of being human. And when you find someone who doesn’t just accept you but loves you because of it? That’s the stuff worth holding on to.

Thank you for choosing to stay,
for simply existing
in the same universe as me.
I don’t have to search for perfect words
these simple ones will do
You’re my everything,
and I’m yours.

So, yeah. That’s it. That’s the poem, the messy love, the whole vibe. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s real. And sometimes, that’s exactly what we need. To just show up as we are loud, messy, a little bit unsure and have it all be enough. You deserve that. I deserve that. We all deserve it.

Love isn’t this neat, pretty thing we see in movies. It’s messy. It’s flawed. It’s raw. But there’s something beautiful about that. Something so deeply human about the way we try to figure it out together. So, if you’re in a place where you’re still questioning yourself whether you’re too much, too loud, too messy, let me remind you: you’re not.

You’re exactly what someone needs. You’re enough, exactly as you are. And if you ever forget that, just remember this: even in the chaos, in all the imperfections, there’s beauty. There’s power in that.

If anything, this poem and these words are a reminder that sometimes love is just about showing up and being present. It’s not about perfection, and it’s not about trying to be someone else. It’s about being seen. Being real. And when you find someone who can do that for you? That’s the kind of magic that’s worth holding on to. Because that’s where the good stuff is.

And for now, I’m just going to hold on to that. Hold on to this messy, wonderful, unpredictable love. Because I’m lucky enough to have it. And honestly? I think I’m finally starting to understand that I deserve it. We all do.