So, I was scrolling through TikTok one day, listening to yet another “relationship expert” going on about all these so-called “rules” for love. And you know what hit me? Fuck those rules. Just be yourself. Seriously.
Why the hell are we making love such a complicated game? You’ve heard the rules, right? “Don’t text back too fast,” “Wait a few days before calling,” “Play hard to get.” People are more focused on following some fake script than actually feeling real love. But love doesn’t need rules. It just needs you.
These “rules” are bullshit. They’re too rigid, and we are NOT rigid. We all have our own style, our own pace. What feels natural to one person might feel forced to someone else.
The problem with these rules is they make you second-guess yourself. You start thinking you’re doing love “wrong” just because it doesn’t look like someone else’s idea of how it should be. But no one else is living your life but you.
Take advice if it feels right, but don’t turn someone else’s opinion into a rulebook for your love life. Your love story is YOURS to write. It’s not a copy of anyone else’s.
The most important thing you need to know is just be yourself. Whoever’s meant to stay will stick around for the real you. If you’re always pretending to be someone you’re not, you’re just going to burn out. Pretending isn’t sustainable. When the mask slips and trust me, it will, the relationship might fall apart because it was never built on truth.
Isn’t it easier to just be real? Maybe you’re the type who falls hard and fast and says “I love you” first. Or maybe you’re more chill, letting things build naturally. Either way, you’re valid. You’re allowed to be you.
Love isn’t about playing a role or fitting into some mold, it’s about showing up as your true self. That’s when the magic happens.
When you’re real with yourself, you’re not just improving your relationships, you’re healing. You’re letting go of all the toxic expectations and unnecessary pressure that comes with trying to fit into someone else’s idea of love.
Healing happens when you stop pretending. When you embrace who you truly are, the walls start coming down, and you begin to attract love that’s genuine, not forced. Being true to yourself allows you to create a solid, healthy foundation for love, whether you’re single or in a relationship.
When you’re true to yourself, your relationships get better. But more importantly, your relationship with yourself gets better too. When you stay true to your values and desires, you’re more likely to create lasting, fulfilling relationships. When you’re honest about what you want, rather than pretending, you build a stronger, healthier foundation for love.
When it comes to love, you’re the author, not some TikTok “expert.” Your story is unique, and you get to decide how it unfolds. Don’t let anyone else’s idea of what love should be like control your narrative. Instead, grab a journal and start writing out your ideal love life. Imagine the kind of love that lights you up, the kind that feels effortless and genuine.
You can write it as if it’s already happening: “I’m so grateful for the amazing partner I have. We connect deeply, laugh constantly, and support each other in everything we do.” Describe your dream relationship as if it’s your reality. The more specific and passionate you get about it, the more powerful the manifestation process becomes.
Your journal is your love manifesting tool. It’s not just about writing down what you want; it’s about getting into the mindset of already having it. The key to manifesting is feeling like what you want is already yours. Here are a few journaling prompts to get started:
- What does love feel like to me? Write about the emotions you want to experience in a relationship. Get detailed! Feel the love in your heart and describe it.
- What kind of person do I want to attract? Don’t just focus on surface-level traits. Think about their energy, their values, their character. What kind of person will complement your life? Write it all down.
- How will love transform me? Reflect on how being in a healthy, loving relationship will make you feel. How will you grow? What will you learn? Manifesting love is about making space in your life for growth and joy.
- What are the small, everyday moments I want to share with my partner? Don’t just envision the big romantic moments, picture the simple things: morning coffee, movie nights, deep conversations. It’s these moments that will make your love story real.
Manifestation doesn’t always happen overnight, and that’s okay. Trust that the universe is working behind the scenes to bring you the love you deserve. The key is staying patient, open, and connected to your own desires. As you keep journaling and manifesting, you’ll begin to see that the more you embody love, the more it shows up for you.
You’re in charge of your love story. So, write it, manifest it, and believe it’s already happening. The only rule you need to follow is: trust yourself, stay authentic, and watch your love story unfold.
If you’re single, listen up. Don’t stress about following all the “rules” everyone else is pushing. You get to make your own rules. You get to do what feels right for you.
Maybe you’ve heard you should play it cool on dating apps and wait before showing interest. But what if you love instant connection? Your rule could be: “Be upfront and honest from the start.” Or maybe you’ve been told to take things slow, but you want someone who’s ready to dive in. Your rule could be: “Don’t waste time if the vibe’s not there.”
Dr. Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist and the author of Single at Heart (Apollo), says people who make their own rules, who stop following old-school dating advice, are happier and have better relationships. When you embrace who you really are, you attract the right people and build more meaningful connections.
Making your own rules isn’t just about rejecting what everyone else says, it’s about honoring who you are and creating the kind of love story that feels real to YOU. Research shows that when you embrace authenticity, you’re more likely to form lasting, meaningful connections, not because you’re “doing it right,” but because you’re doing it your way.
So, if your relationship feels good, honest, and real, forget the rules. Forget the timelines, the games, the shoulds and shouldn’ts. Do what feels right for you.
At the end of the day, love isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being you. It’s about showing up as yourself. It’s about connection, growth, and writing your own story even if it’s messy and no one else gets it.
Because love? It’s not a game. It’s a feeling. And the only rule you need to follow is this: be yourself. Always.
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