mynamesearn

This thought hit me one day out of nowhere: I’m done with the guessing game. I’m not doing it anymore. It’s simple, you either like someone, or you don’t. There’s no in-between. If you truly like someone, you won’t be stuck in a loop of “He’s nice, but…” or “She’s great, but…” There’s no “but.”

I say this like I’ve always had it figured out, but trust me, I’ve been there. And now that I’ve learned, I know this for sure: I’m not going back, because it’s exhausting. Wondering, doubting, overthinking, it’s a waste of energy.

We’ve all been there, stuck in our heads trying to figure out if someone is really into us or if we even like them as much as we think. It’s draining, and honestly, life is too short to waste on this back-and-forth. The moment I decided to let go of the guessing game, it felt like a weight was lifted. I want that for you too.

This isn’t just for you if you’re wondering whether you like someone. It’s for the ones who are stuck wondering if someone likes them back too. Here’s a rule I live by now: stop making excuses.

If they’re slow to reply, always “busy,” or you’re coming up with reasons like “Maybe they’re dealing with something,” take a step back. Of course, everyone has their struggles, and that’s valid. But when I say “either you like them or you don’t,” I’m talking about skipping the exhausting guessing game.

Think about it: if they really cared, wouldn’t they make the effort? If someone truly values you, they’ll make sure you feel it. No mixed signals. No second-guessing. People show up for the things that matter to them. If they’re not showing up for you, that says enough. And it’s okay to walk away from that.

I know some people are genuinely dealing with big problems, and not every situation is the same. But if they aren’t working on their own issues yet, why would you want them to make your life more complicated? At the same time, if you really like them, then go for it because at the end of the day, it’s your life. I’m just speaking from experience as someone who used to spend way too much time guessing in love. And let me tell you, it’s not worth it.

If someone’s behaviour starts making you anxious, it’s time to check in with yourself. Let’s say he’s tall, handsome, and ticks a lot of boxes but he’s slow at answering. You’re starting to overthink every silence. Is this the right fit? Or maybe you find yourself saying, “I like him, but I can’t stand the way he chews his food.” Let me be real: if you truly like someone, the chewing won’t even matter.

You’ll barely notice it because your feelings outweigh those tiny quirks. But if those little things are already bothering you, they’ll feel ten times bigger in a few months or years. And guess what? People break up over these things all the time, there’s research to prove it.

The truth is, those little “buts” will pile up. They’ll start to overshadow the things you actually like about the person. And one day, you’ll wake up wondering why you stayed so long. Pay attention to those feelings now, so you don’t have to deal with the heartache later.

This isn’t just about liking someone or not, it’s about understanding how their energy reflects yours. Love languages come into play here, too. Sometimes, it’s not that they’re a bad person or that you’re too picky; it’s that you’re just not aligned. If the way you communicate is drastically different, like how you text or express affection, it might be a sign that you’re not the right match. 

People don’t realize how much these habits matter, but they matter in the long run. Compatibility isn’t just about attraction, it’s about habits, communication, and values. Sure, you might be attracted to many people, but you can’t change their habits. If their way of living or loving doesn’t align with yours, it’ll only cause frustration down the line. Recognizing this early on can save you from a lot of unnecessary pain.

For me, I just think my life is worth more than someone guessing. If you’re unsure about me, then go fix your trauma first. We’re not in the same energy, and that’s okay. No hate for that, it just means we’re not right for each other at this moment. And that’s cool. I’d rather keep my peace than force something that’s not meant to be.

The more I’ve focused on protecting my energy, the more I’ve realized how much peace it brings. Your energy is sacred. Don’t give it away to people who leave you feeling drained or unsure. Save it for the people who make you feel seen, heard, and loved without conditions. 

Healing is such a personal journey. It’s not easy, and it’s definitely not quick. If you’re in your healing era, it can be about love, family, or anything else. This phase has taught me how much other people’s energy can affect you. Choosing to step away from uncertainty is a form of self-care.

It’s saying, “I’m not settling for halfway.” I choose to respect myself enough to reserve my energy and thoughts for someone who truly deserves it. 

Honestly, so many things cross my mind daily, and I’ve realized I need to prioritize my own peace too. When you let go of people who don’t align with you, you make space for the ones who do. You give yourself the gift of clarity and the freedom to grow without the weight of doubt.

Healing also means learning to love yourself enough to walk away from things that don’t serve you. It’s about creating a life where you feel grounded and whole, even when you’re on your own. And trust me, that kind of peace is worth everything.

Don’t waste time with someone you’re unsure about. Life is complicated enough; don’t make love another puzzle to solve. Stop wondering and pay attention to what you feel. Do this without excuses or justifications. You’ll see your own patterns more clearly. You’ll know if it’s right for you or not.

For me, I’ve learned to trust my gut. If I feel uneasy, I don’t ignore it. And if I’m genuinely happy with someone, there’s no questioning it. Love shouldn’t feel like a guessing game. It should feel like peace.

If you’re stuck in the “but” phase, ask yourself. Can you truly tolerate that “but” for the next ten years without losing your mind? And if you think this person is worth it despite the “but,” then go for it. Either way, the choice is yours.

But know this: when you prioritize yourself and your well-being, even if the outcome isn’t what you hoped for, you’re still winning. Because you’re choosing you. Whatever happens, good or bad, remember: it’s never too late to heal, grow, and move forward. And if you need support, I’ll be right here with you.