mynamesearn

Ah man, 25 and heartbroken. Kinda funny when you think about it. I mean, it’s not like I’m old, but heartbreak doesn’t really care about that, does it? It just keeps showing up in different ways at different times, and no matter how many times we go through it, it always hits a little different. Some people drown in it, some pretend they’re fine, some turn it into art, and some, like me, just sit with it, trying to figure out what the hell it all means.

But you know what? It’s kinda beautiful too. I’m watching myself grow through it, and that’s something. It’s like every heartbreak comes with a new layer of understanding, like a mirror reflecting back parts of me I never really saw before. I’m hurting, yeah, but I also feel… alive? Isn’t it kinda wild that we can feel something this deeply? Even if it sucks, it means I was really in it. And I’d rather feel something real than nothing at all.

Somehow, this whole thing reminded me that I’m capable of love, at any age. Maybe I’ll be heartbroken again at 40, and maybe that’s okay. Because at the end of the day, I can say I loved, and that means something. It’s kinda crazy, but I do feel that. At least I got to feel love, you know? It’s like he came into my life just to remind me that I am loved, just as I am. And that? That’s a gift I’ll carry with me forever.

He’s just a genuinely good person. Not just to me, but in general. The kind of person who makes the world feel a little lighter just by existing. He’s smart too, and let’s be real, that’s hot. But it’s more than just intelligence; it’s the way his mind works, the way he sees things differently, the way he makes me think about things I never even considered. And that’s rare.

But more than that, with him, I could just be me. No overthinking every little thing. Just me, in the most natural way possible. And I haven’t felt that in a long time. The last time I remember feeling that way, I was 14, before life started making me feel like I had to be something else, like I had to fit into certain boxes to be accepted. With him, it wasn’t like that. I could just exist, and that was enough.

So yeah, it’s been a while. And maybe that’s why this hurts the way it does. Because it wasn’t just about him, it was about how I felt when I was with him. Free, seen, understood. That kind of connection is rare, and when you find it, even for a little while, it changes you.

It’s funny because I’ve always been that person who says, ‘Why even talk to someone if you know it’s going to end?’ And deep down, I think we both knew this wasn’t forever. I even thought maybe it would’ve been better if we just never started. But you know what? I’d still choose him every time. Because the truth is, some people are worth the heartbreak. Some people are worth knowing, even if it’s only for a short time.

This wasn’t a waste of time, even though I used to say that to others. Now, I get it. I get why people dive headfirst into something, even knowing it might break them. Because feeling something real, even if it’s temporary, is better than never feeling it at all. And if I could, I’d go back and tell past me, ‘I understand you, and I’m sorry for judging.

But endings bring new beginnings. I believe that. And I’m grateful that I got to know him, grateful that this world has him in it. Grateful that for a little while, I got to be someone’s favourite person, and he was mine too.That’s a rare kind of magic, and I don’t take it for granted.

Talking to my friends these past 24 hours made me realize how lucky I am. It’s not just about him, I have all these beautiful people who love me too. People who show up, who listen, who remind me that love doesn’t begin and end with one person. My life is beautiful, and I will come back from this. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I will.

Because love might hurt sometimes, but it always leads us somewhere new. Maybe I’ll go work on a farm in Europe. That sounds kinda nice, doesn’t it? The world is waiting for me to figure things out. And who knows? Maybe one day, I’ll bump into him again. Maybe next time, it’ll be different. A girl can dream, right?

If you’re reading this and feeling the same way, just know, I get it. And it’s not the end of the world. We’re gonna be fine. Keep dreaming as big as you want, and don’t stop believing in yourself. No matter what happens, you’ll find your way. I believe that for you, and I believe that for me too.

It’s weird, isn’t it? How someone can be in your life for such a short time, yet leave an impact that sticks with you forever. It makes me think about all the moments that shape us. Not just love, but everything, friendships, random encounters, even quick chats. Life is full of those little pieces that, when put together, make us who we are.

I guess that’s why I’m not bitter about this ending. It’s just another part of my story. A chapter I didn’t expect but one I’ll never regret. He was someone who reminded me what it feels like to be seen, to be understood. I won’t take that for granted. I used to think that love had to last forever to be real. That if it ended, it wasn’t worth it. But now? I think love is real because it happens at all. Even if it’s temporary. Even if it hurts. It’s still love. And that’s still beautiful.

So yeah, maybe I’ll get my heart broken again. Maybe I’ll fall in love again. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll be everything I ever dreamed of. Or maybe it won’t. Either way, I’ll keep going. Because life keeps going. And I refuse to let one heartbreak make me afraid to love again. Because he made me believe in love again, made me believe that the world has someone out there who will genuinely love me for who I am, without me having to change myself for them.

And if you’re out there feeling the same way, just know, you’re not alone. We’re in this together. We’ll heal, we’ll grow, and we’ll find our way. One day at a time.