mynamesearn

I just watched a stupid movie called “Ricky Stanicky” on Prime Video. It was okay, not something I’d rave about. But near the end, there was this line: “Erin’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” And out of nowhere, a tear rolled down my cheek. My brain instantly asked, “Has anyone ever felt that way about me?”

It’s really not that deep, but my period is coming in a week, so let’s blame hormones. Still, after that thought hit me, another one followed right after: I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. Because you know what? I’m the best thing that ever happened to me.

Sometimes, I’m genuinely fascinated by my own mind. I can take any bad thing and flip it into something good. And if that’s who I am, I’ll be fine. I don’t know why I ever waste my time worrying when all I ever do is find the good in things. I must be insane to think I’m not enough or to listen to any of those stupid doubts in my head. I’m done believing that nonsense. It’s exhausting.

This is where I get into astrology. Lately, I’ve been diving into my birth chart, especially my North Node. If you don’t know, the North Node represents your soul’s growth, your life lessons, and the direction you’re meant to move toward. Basically, it’s your destiny. Mine is in Leo, in the 1st house. And if you know astrology, that means I was born to shine.

I was born to be myself, to show up fully in the world, to be the main character in my own life. I’m supposed to be confident, to stop dimming my own light. To follow what excites me, even if it feels dramatic. To take the lead instead of waiting for someone else to decide. To trust my gut and my intuition.

I know, I sound like a crazy astrology girl. But if it helps me feel good about myself, who cares? It’s not hurting anyone. Maybe it’s not 100% true, but it gives me peace of mind. And that’s enough. And if the stars tell me I’m supposed to just be the most authentic self and that’s my whole purpose in life, so be it. I’m pretty good at that, so why would I give the bad voices any time in my head? The voices that say I’m not pretty enough, not skinny enough.

Because I’ve learned that beauty is different for everyone. And if I’m not pretty for someone, maybe that just means they’re not my audience. There will always be people who see me exactly as I am and think I’m the most beautiful person in the world. So why waste time worrying about the ones who don’t?

So yeah, maybe that line from the movie hit me hard because of hormones or some unresolved stuff from my past. But here’s what I learned today: Whenever a sad thought creeps in, my first instinct now is to stand up for myself. Because I am the best thing that ever happened to me.

And no matter what happens in the future, I’ll keep reminding myself of that. I’ve got my own back. I always have. Maybe I don’t need to be anyone else’s “best thing that ever happened to them.” Because I already know I’m my own. And maybe that’s something I’ll carry with me forever.

It’s funny how something so small can trigger such a big realization. Maybe it was just a line in a movie, but for me, it was a reminder. A confirmation. I’ve spent too much time looking for validation from other people when, in reality, I should’ve been giving it to myself all along. No one’s opinion should hold more weight than my own.

I’ve been through enough to know that at the end of the day, I can rely on myself. I’ve picked myself up more times than I can count. I’ve turned pain into lessons, setbacks into comebacks. If I’m going to be anyone’s best thing, it should be my own first.

And maybe this is just part of life, learning, unlearning, and relearning the same lesson over and over. But if I have to keep reminding myself, then so be it. I’ll say it as many times as I need to: I am the best thing that ever happened to me. And that’s never going to change.