mynamesearn

I accept the fact that sometimes I don’t need to understand anything. And that’s new for me because I’ve always liked to analyze everything. Sometimes that’s a good thing, but lately, I’ve come to a conclusion, maybe not everything needs to be understood. And weirdly, that makes me enjoy life a little more.

I don’t need to understand why some people are just mean to others. I used to try, but now I’m like… maybe I don’t need to. Some people are just like that. It’s not my job to get it. I’m just gonna accept it and move on with my life. Same with bad things, why they happen to me. I don’t get it. But maybe I don’t have to. I just need to learn something from it and keep going. It’s already in the past, it already happened, and I can’t control it. So why would I keep holding on to it?

Of course, I still think about the past sometimes. Duh, I’m a fucking human. And I’m allowed to do that. I cry sometimes. I smile at old memories. I replay conversations I should’ve ended differently. But at the same time, I remind myself that I don’t need to understand it all. I can just be. And let things be. Maybe peace isn’t about knowing everything. Maybe it’s about knowing when to let go.

Right now, I’m in a place in my life where I don’t feel like I need anything. I really love everything I have, and I’m so grateful for that. It sounds spiritual, and yeah, maybe it is. But I also believe in doing something to support that mindset too. Like showing up for myself. Like checking in with how I feel. And honestly, thinking like this makes me feel lighter. Like I don’t need to be “on” all the time. I can just breathe.

Sometimes I try to understand people and end up going, “What did I even do?” But then I’m like, actually, I don’t need to understand them. That doesn’t mean I won’t try, lol. It’s contradicting, I know. But that’s what being human is. We don’t have to know exactly what we’re doing all the time. We mess up. We overthink. We try to fix what isn’t ours to fix. And that’s okay. That’s part of it too.

I think society makes us believe we always need to be figuring things out. Like we don’t have the option to just be. But you don’t need to rush into anything. Take your time. Sit with your feelings. Let them pass through. Another thing I’ve learned? Life is gonna be bad sometimes. That’s just how it is. You could get divorced at 40. You could get laid off at 38. Life doesn’t always get “figured out.” You’ll still be learning. Still failing. Still not winning sometimes. But that doesn’t mean good things won’t happen too. They will. Just like the bad stuff.

So yeah, breathe. We don’t need to hurry all the time. Let life be.

When I tell myself, “I don’t need to understand everything,” I feel free. Because honestly, everything can fall apart at any time. And instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” maybe I can just say, “It is what it is.” Learn from it, sure. But I don’t have to hold on to it forever. I’m allowed to release it. I’m allowed to move forward without answers.

What I’m trying to say is that accepting the fact that I don’t need to understand everything feels bigger than just good vs. bad. It’s about letting life happen as it happens. It’s about staying present. Like for me, I broke up with the nicest guy I’ve ever met. And maybe it’ll be hard to find someone like him again. But it happened. And I don’t need to understand why. I just want to keep the good memories from it, move on, and enjoy my life more and more.

I believe I’ll meet someone nice again. Maybe even better. I don’t need to understand how or when. I just have to accept that I will. I have to trust that good things are always making their way to me, even when I don’t see them yet.

I don’t need all the answers. I just need to keep going. That’s enough for me right now. And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough forever.