mynamesearn

Ok, I know being sexualised is bad, but I mean sometimes being sexualised is actually nice. And don’t come for me about this. I’ll explain why in a second, because I know how people love to jump on one sentence without reading the whole thing. Relax. Let me talk.

I think I’m one of those girls who got sexualised from a young age, not child-young, but like teenage high school age, when my boobs started getting bigger and suddenly everything changed. You don’t even do anything except exist, and suddenly the world looks at you differently. You’re not a child anymore. People start staring a little longer. Teachers suddenly comment on your clothes. When in reality you’re just… growing up. Becoming a woman. 

If you’re a girl, you know that moment. The moment where “you’re so sexy” isn’t even something you asked for, it just happens. And you have to figure out what to do with that attention. At the time, I didn’t know. I thought it meant boys would only want sex from me. I thought it meant I had to hide myself to be “taken seriously.”

And back then, it felt bad, because it became the only thing people noticed about you. When you’re young and people sexualise you, it feels like that’s your entire identity. Like that’s the only version of you that people can see. But when you get older, you realise two things: being hot is not the only thing you are, and nobody actually knows you except you.

So why would I care what anyone says about me? Why would I cry about people having opinions when I know damn well I’m not whatever category they put me in? I know who I am. And the older you get, the more that becomes enough. Growing up changes everything. Now, I know there was never anything wrong with me getting bigger and automatically becoming sexier. That’s literally just nature. That’s being a woman. And that’s kind of where my perspective shifted, where I think being sexualised isn’t always bad for me now, at this age, with this self-awareness. 

I think people naturally put others into categories, even if we pretend we don’t. The internet loves to say “don’t label people,” but babe… humans label everything. It’s how we understand the world. And it’s also how we understand each other.

There’s the “beautiful, soft, gentle” category, the women who give off this warm, pure vibe. The ones men want to protect, like “aww, she’s cute.” And that’s hot too, but in a different flavour. It’s not that I think they’re not hot; it’s just a different kind of hot. They’re giving softness and tenderness vibes.

And then there’s the hot women. The “fuck her immediately” category. The women who walk into a room and change the energy. The women people sexualize without even thinking. I’m in that box. I’m a woman who’s beautiful and hot and sexy. (Yes, I know I sound full of myself, but if I don’t hype me, who will? Exactly.)

When I was younger, I used to think if I’m that sexy girl, then no guy will ever choose me for real, that they will only want sex and never love me. But as I got older, I realised that doesn’t matter. The right person will want everything, my body, my brain, my weirdness, my craziness. And the wrong people? They can drool over my photos and disappear. I don’t lose anything.

 I can’t not be hot. I can’t not be sexy. It’s literally who I am. And hiding it won’t make me any less of it. If anything, hiding it makes me miserable. Maybe I’m just meant to be a very sexy woman who people want to fuck. And now that I’m older, I think that’s fine. That’s not an insult. That’s a compliment. Because now I know I’m not just that. I’m also smart, funny, considerate, anxious, intuitive, soft, chaotic, and capable of a thousand different things.

So if I get DMs from guys saying I make their dick hard from just texting? Hell yeah. I don’t care anymore. If anything, it just proves my point, I affect people. I have presence. I have sexual power. And the people who actually want to know the real me will stay no matter how sexy they think I am.

So right now, I don’t think being sexualised is such a bad thing for me. At least not for now. (Who knows, maybe tomorrow I wake up and hate it again. I’m allowed to change my mind. I am a woman. Duh.) 

I finally know who I am and how hot I can be to certain people. And I know my effect. And honestly, it’s fun. It’s funny. I know I have that energy. I know some people can’t look at me without getting sexual thoughts and… what do you want me to do about it? Apologize? No. Honestly, sometimes being sexualised feels empowering. Not because I need validation, but because I know I’m more than that now. Being sexy is just the surface. But inside? I’m a whole fucking universe.

I know people like me, people who speak boldly about being hot, are usually told to be humble. But humble for what? For who? I’m not going to shrink myself to make other people comfortable. Some people might hate that I’m talking like this publicly, like I think I’m the hottest woman alive. 

And I don’t know, maybe in my mind I am. I’m not going to pretend I don’t know I’m attractive. Maybe that’s exactly why I’m talking like this. And I don’t want to hide that anymore. Being hot is hot. Period.

So when people compliment me, I’m not going to shy away. I’m not going to pretend I don’t know. I’ll be like, “Hell yeah I know, babe. And you too.”

That’s what I thought today. Pretty full of myself, very honest, but whatever. If you need a confidence boost today, try being a little full of yourself too.

Maybe it’ll change your world. <3