mynamesearn

I’m back sooner than I thought actually, but I was gone before this, so you know what I mean. I saw some post on IG talking about flirting and how it’s not like it used to be anymore.

I think so too, but in a way, I haven’t gone out on a date in a very long time, so my opinion doesn’t actually matter. 

And when I say long time, it was just a month, but that’s long to me. And I mean as in a proper date, because I like flirting in general. With your friends, with your crush, with the neighbour, with the delivery guy who you will never meet again, with whoever you desire. Flirting for me isn’t even a romantic thing, it’s energy, it’s chemistry, it’s intention, it’s playfulness. It’s me being me.

I think when people say flirting is not like it used to be because we are not just in the moment anymore. We’re always thinking about the future and overthinking the present at the same time.

And of course I get it, but it makes this moment less joyful. The world is full of beautiful little moments that we don’t even let ourselves feel because we’re too busy analysing them. 

We get stuck on the idea that something has to lead to something to be meaningful, and maybe that’s true in some cases, but not with flirting. The flirting is good because we’re just silly and say whatever comes to mind.

The banter, the teasing, the tension in the conversation. Not the pick-up line you memorised at home. Not the advice your love coach told you to use. Not the script you prepared. But the moment.

The glazed eyes. The pause between sentences. The tension in the silence when you both know you’re thinking the same thing. The smile so big it hurts your cheek. Or the laugh that’s so loud you can’t even breathe for a second.

Those are the silly and ordinary moments we should appreciate more in life. The small, stupid, electric feelings that remind you that you’re alive. The moments that don’t mean anything but somehow mean everything when you’re in them.

Flirting makes you feel intimate in the stupidest, simplest way. It makes the whole conversation feel closer, like we suddenly know each other on a different level. I don’t like knowing anything on the surface.

I want to dig into someone deeper and actually get to know the real them. I want to know what they’re scared of, how they grew up, their worst nightmare, their weird little habits they don’t tell anyone.

And flirting is one of the ways you see all of that. It brings out the real freaky side of someone. The unfiltered parts. And honestly, it’s fun as hell whether you’re doing it or watching it happen.

I love flirting so much and I think everyone knows that by now because I keep telling everyone. But I do love it, and it’s annoying sometimes that people watch what they’re saying too much. It’s not fun anymore when we have to be careful with every little thing we say.

And maybe I don’t just love flirting, maybe it’s just who I am. I say things out loud. I talk too much when I’m excited. My mind is dirty. So yes, that equals flirting automatically, I guess.

But of course, flirting is only fun when you have that chemistry with the other person too. That’s what makes it fun and hot. You can’t force it. You can’t fake it. You either have it or you don’t. But I’ve also seen people who have so much charisma that everyone thinks they’re flirting even when they’re literally just existing.

I think nowadays we’re so obsessed with all these aesthetics on social media that we start performing it in real life too. We’re scared of not being “cool” enough to someone’s eyes, or not being aesthetically pleasing every second of the day.

And honestly? That mindset makes flirting go backwards. Because the coolest people are the ones who don’t give a fuck about any of that shit. They’re just real. They don’t care if the moment is silly or if they say something stupid. And that’s why they’re fun. That’s why people want to flirt with them in the first place.

And all of this brings us back to confidence and self-love kind of. I don’t want to say “self-love” too much because it’s getting cheesy these days, but it’s true. We say what we want more because we have the courage to do it, and that is confidence.

The confidence to get embarrassed. The confidence to be silly. The joy of being in the moment without worrying about looking stupid. The ability to laugh at yourself. The acceptance that other people probably don’t think about you as much as you think they do. 

Maybe that’s why I love flirting, because I’ve made peace with embarrassment. I can say or do whatever the fuck I want now. Flirting comes naturally and I enjoy it whether it’s good flirting or not. I don’t care if someone thinks it’s cringe. At least I’m having fun.

I think flirting isn’t like it used to be because we’re thinking in caution mode. We think too much about what other people think about our actions. And maybe they are thinking about it, but none of those thoughts are actually about you.

You’re just mirroring something in them. A reflection. A trigger. A little piece of their own personality they recognise without realising. I believe we know each other for some reason, and that reason might be because we are the same in some way. We are all human after all.

When I have this mindset installed in my brain, it feels like I can be anything. It’s like everything is up to me to decide. Of course, I care about other people’s feelings, but that would be people I truly love. People who matter. Why would I care about someone else’s opinion when they don’t even know me? They might judge me but so what? I judge people too. Everyone does.

Okay, I think I’m so off-topic. Back to flirting. What I’m trying to say is maybe we should bring back flirting. Bring back making a fool of yourself this year if you’re not already doing that. Be more silly with life. Make tons of mistakes and still laugh through it. Because I refuse to believe in all the bad things and bad outcomes when you can think the other way around.

We are so cruel to ourselves sometimes. Not because of others, but because of ourselves. We give other people so much credit when maybe you are the one doing all the work. We look at ourselves and see everything wrong, but we see everything good in other people. That doesn’t make any fucking sense if you think about it.

Sometimes we do it without realising it, which is sad actually. And maybe that’s why I flirt and have fun so much, because life is so unpredictable and of course life will suck sometimes. So I just wanna make everyone laugh and enjoy themselves more, because when we flirt we bring out the best parts of each other.

We tease each other because we secretly like each other. Or admire something. Or recognise something. Flirting is human connection in its most playful form.

I also think we need to remember that not everything has to be meaningful or special. Yes, sometimes it is. But that doesn’t mean silly and ordinary moments aren’t meaningful. They’re the moments that save us.

We need to let ourselves be silly sometimes, not all the time, but definitely sometimes. Let yourself be free for a second. And maybe that’s what we need the most.

I don’t know what point I’m making, but honestly, I don’t need a point. I just wanted to write it. And that’s what I’m doing today.