mynamesearn

So, I just started watching Mad Men on Netflix yesterday. I know, I know, it’s a really old series. I’ve actually known about it for a long time, but I never really got around to watching it. All I knew was that it’s about advertising and marketing, and people always say it’s a classic. And since I’m interested in marketing, I figured it was time I gave it a try.

But wow. From the very beginning, I was so mad. Like, mad mad. The way the women are treated? It’s pure misogyny. I mean, I know it’s meant to show how things were back then, but still, it’s hard to watch sometimes. And yet, even though it made me angry, I couldn’t stop watching. Now I’m on episode 2, and I’m still mad. Maybe even more mad. But I can also feel myself getting more curious and more into the story. I think I might end up loving this series, even though it’s already frustrating me so much.

After finishing episode 2, I couldn’t help myself. I went on Reddit to see what other people were saying about the show. And wow, the comments were full of women who work in male-dominated jobs, saying how much they related to the female characters. A lot of them said this show has some of the most realistic and relatable women they’ve ever seen on TV.

That got me really excited because I started to notice it too. Even in the second episode, I could already tell that the women in this series are going to be powerful in their own way. There’s something about them that feels so real and layered. I feel like they’re going to become the kind of characters I’ll obsess over.

While I was watching, I also started thinking about myself. If I had lived in that time, what kind of woman would I be? Even now, I’m the kind of person who speaks her mind. I’m outspoken and not afraid to say what I think. But people get surprised when I say that I used to be a people pleaser. I used to feel like I had to be nice all the time, like I had this responsibility to make sure everyone liked me. Otherwise, they’d hate me or talk badly about me. That pressure made me overly kind, to the point where I ignored my own needs and boundaries.

But over time, I found my balance. Now I know how to protect myself. I know how to be kind without letting people walk all over me. And when someone crosses the line, I know how to say something. I can be “mean” in the nicest way possible, and that’s something I’ve learned through experience. I’ve always been the loud one in the friend group, the one who says whatever is on her mind, the talkative one. That hasn’t changed. But now, I feel stronger and more sure of who I am.

One scene in Mad Men really got to me. One man asks another, “What do women want?” and without even blinking, the other guy replies, “Who cares?” That line made me so mad, I swear I had to pause the show and just sit with my feelings for a second. But honestly, that one line tells you everything you need to know about how this series will go. It’s probably going to make me furious, but at the same time, it’s going to keep me hooked. I already feel it.

And weirdly enough, I kind of like being mad at it. Not the toxic kind of mad, but the kind that makes your brain start firing in every direction. The kind that makes you want to write something, say something, create something. I haven’t written anything for about two weeks, ever since the holidays. I just felt stuck. But now that I’m mad about this show, my words are flowing again. It’s like the anger woke me up.

And it made me realize that when you feel something really deeply, even if it’s hate, it can be just as powerful as love. The emotions might seem opposite, but the intensity is the same. And when you sit with that feeling, you realize that maybe it’s not just love or hate. Maybe it’s obsession. And obsession is different. It’s deeper. Not everyone feels things that way, but I do.

Sorry if I’m getting off-topic here. Maybe I do have a little ADHD because I get distracted by my own thoughts so easily. But that’s just how my brain works. Like, another thing I noticed in the show is that all the men are the ones paying for everything. Even when they don’t even like the women they’re with. That seems to be the male role in that era. And honestly, it still happens now.

It got me thinking, what if someone wanted to take care of me financially, but in exchange I had to give up my voice? Would I be okay with that? Probably not. I don’t think I could ever stop being outspoken, not even for money. But then again, it made me question how much I’d be willing to bend if I were in that world.

There’s also a woman in the show who’s not married, but she’s sleeping with a married man. And she’s also asking him to help her with certain things. Nothing major, just typical “man jobs” like fixing stuff or helping her out. And part of me thought, damn, that’s kind of iconic. Like, maybe that would’ve been me if I lived back then. But also, maybe not.

Because even though I can be bold, I still have this part of me that doesn’t like taking advantage of anyone. Even men. Even if they’re awful. I don’t know, I guess I still believe in being fair. But then again, maybe I should stop being so fair all the time.

Like, if I go on a date and the guy turns out to be awful, why shouldn’t he pay? He wasted my time. I didn’t ask for that. And most of the time, the guys I date are white men on holiday. Not by choice, that’s just how it ends up. And I feel like I’m always the one making things fun. I’m the entertainer. So if you’re here on vacation and I’m the one keeping the energy alive, maybe you should pay. Like, why not?

Also, let’s be real. Some men expect things from women on dates. If you’re expecting my time, my energy, my personality, and maybe even more than that, then you better at least pay for dinner. I’m not on a holiday like you. I’m here, living my life. So if I’m giving you my time, I should get something back.

Maybe I need to start being a little meaner to men. Just a little. Not evil. Just not so nice all the time. Not everyone deserves my kindness. That’s something I’m still learning.

Anyway, back to Mad Men. I’m only two episodes in, and I already have so many thoughts. I’m sure I’ll be back with more once I get mad again. Because I know I will. This show is definitely going to trigger something in me, but in a good way. It’s the kind of show that makes you think, reflect, and rage a little. And I kind of love that.

So yeah, that’s it for now. Thanks for reading my little rant. Hope you’re having a good day. Unless you’re the kind of guy who says “Who cares what women want?” In that case, don’t talk to me.